


Wait, That's Illegal 2.0

by AlexTheShipper



Series: That's Illegal [2]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Autistic Tony Stark, Canon Divergence - Iron Man 2, F/M, Fix-It of Sorts, Gen, Hydra (Marvel), Legal Drama, News Media, Police, SHIELD, Tony Stark Defense Squad, Tony Stark Has A Heart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-14
Updated: 2020-04-17
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:34:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23655442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlexTheShipper/pseuds/AlexTheShipper
Summary: When Coulson threaten's to tase Tony, a man with an electromagnet implanted in his chest, Tony takes it as the death threat that it is and calls the cops....A rewrite of Wait That's Illegal with some added scenes, some changes, and making the story better suited to being a chaptered fic instead of a one-shot.
Relationships: James "Rhodey" Rhodes & Tony Stark, Pepper Potts & Tony Stark
Series: That's Illegal [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1703194
Comments: 128
Kudos: 2265
Collections: Tony defends himself, ellie marvel fics - read





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I was really enjoying writing Wait That's illegal, but I wanted to add some scenes to the earlier chapters, and decided a full rewrite was in order.

“What do you remember about your dad?” Fury asks, as if he has a right to it. He’s barely looking at Tony which is making it harder for Tony to figure out what his angle is. He’s never been the best at reading people.

“He was cold.” Tony decides to go for a partial truth. “He was calculating.” He watched Fury for a reaction, something he can work with. “He never told me he loved me. He never even told me he liked me, so it’s a little tough for me to digest when you’re telling me he said the whole future was riding on me and he’s passing it down. I don’t get that. You’re talking about a guy whose happiest day was when he shipped me off to boarding school.”

“That’s not true.” Fury says, and all signs point to him being dead serious.

“Well. Then clearly you knew my dad better than I did.” He wants to throw something. Wants to start yelling, but he doesn’t. Who is this man to come into his house and act like he knows anything about Tony’s childhood?

“AS a matter of fact, I did.” He says, and Tony is seething. “He was one of the founding members of SHIELD.” Great, another one of his dads work buddies that thinks they know Tony. Exactly what he needed.

“What?” He deadpans, hoping for some explanation that makes that relevant.

“I got a 2’oclock.” Is all he get’s and Fury is heading for the door. Tony wants to believe that he’s reading this wrong, that Fury didn’t just drop by to drop a bomb on him and then bail.

“Wait, wait, wait, wait.” Tony tries to stop him. “What is this?” He gestures to the box of junk Fury dropped on his table.

“Okay, you’re good right?” Fury asks, and no he isn’t he’s dying and Fury is pulling some cryptic bullshit.

“No, I am not good!” He’s so frustrated, he doesn’t know where he went wrong in this conversation but he has no idea what’s going on, and Jarvis is offline because of their fuckery so there’s no help for him.

“You got this, right? Right?” Fury asks, Tony doesn’t know how he could possibly make it clearer that he does not.

“Got what? I don’t even know what I’m supposed to get.” He huffs, frustrated. He misses Rhodey, Rhodey has always been the best at explaining things.

“Natasha will remain a floater at Stark Industries with her cover intact.” Fury tacks on, as if that’s a decision he gets to make. She’s a liar, who infiltrated his company, and hurt Jarvis. “You remember agent Coulson, right?”

“Yeah.” He says, looking over at the man pointedly. He opens his mouth to point out that Fury still hasn’t explained anything.

“And Tony remember, I’ve got my eye on you.” Fury says, and then disappears out the door like a dramatic bastard. Tony is seething, but he turns to the other two waiting for some sort of explanation.

“We’ve disabled all communications.” Natasha speaks up, leaving him with only more questions. “No contact with the outside world. Good luck.” And then she takes a page out of Fury’s book and walks out the door.

He turns to Agent Coulson baffled and frustrated, and wanting these people out. “Please-“ He cuts himself off, deciding that he isn’t going to get a halfway decent explanation. “First thing, I need a little bodywork. I’ll put in a little time at the lab, if we can send a member of the goon squad sown to The Coffee Bean, Cross Creek, for a Starbucks run, or something, that’d be great.” He doesn’t think it’s too much to ask, what with the breaking and entering, and the harassment.

“I’m not here for that.” Coulson says, voice cold. “I’ve been authorized by Director Fury to use any means necessary to keep you on premises.” As if holding him here against his will is no big deal. “If you attempt to leave or play any games, I will tase you, and watch Supernanny while you drool on the carpet. Okay?” He doesn’t deign to look towards Tony, and Tony has been treated like scum on the bottom of someone’s shoe too many times not to recognize it, but this man had just crossed the line.

“No.” He says. First they break into his house, now they’re threatening to kill him. Coulson jerks slightly, so he must not have expected that.

“What?” He asks, Tony can’t tell what he’s thinking none of the usual signs he reads are present. If he had to guess Tony would think Coulson was giving him a chance to retract his statement. Unlikely.

“What, big bad agent has some issues with comprehension?” Tony asks. “It’s very simple Agent Coulson No means no. As in, no it is not okay.” Coulson’s hand twitches towards his hip, Tony presumes the taser is on his belt. “I have put up with a lot of bullshit from your organization, but I will not allow death threats in my own home, get out.” The line was crossed, Tony is done. He points to the door and he see’s Coulson roll his eyes in Tony’s periphery. The audacity.

“Please, I’d hardly call a taser a death threat.” He says, as if Tony was not one of the smartest people on the planet, fully aware of the damage a taser can do. Maybe it’s the heavy metal poisoning, but Tony doesn’t think he’s ever been this angry before.

“Of course, my bad. I’m sure SHIELD has done extensive research into the effects of using a taser on a human being with an electromagnet implanted in their chest.” Tony works hard, using the sarcasm voice Rhodey taught him. “You know, the electromagnet that keeps shrapnel from shredding my heart. I’m sure a few hundred volts of electricity wouldn’t cause any issues with that. How silly of me.” Coulson steps towards him.

“Listen Stark, it’s easy. Just do what Fury told you to and no taser.” He says, but Tony is done taking orders from an organization this corrupt. He will not listen to people who throw threats around like they mean nothing, and break they law. What they’re doing is wrong, and they only care about what Tony can do for them. That’s the point of these games. He’s done playing.

“No.” He repeats, stalking over to the bar. “Nick ain’t my boss Agent.” Tony doesn’t hesitate to sit down in front of a keyboard and get to work. “He never will be by the way. I’m done with your games.” He turns his back on Coulson and focuses on Jarvis’ code.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Coulson asks, and Tony’s fingers fly over the keyboard as he combs through Jarvis’ code looking at the damage Natasha’s clumsy attempts to take down communications did.

“You aren’t in charge of me.” Tony isn’t going to answer that. “You’re just a strange man who broke into my house, and threatened my life. Natashalie is a strange woman who’s committing corporate espionage, and you have both hacked my private servers.”

“What are you going to do about it?” Coulson asks, and Tony isn’t sure if it’s meant to be a challenge or not. It’s a few more clicks to get Jarvis back online, terrible work really.

“I’m going to contact my lawyers.” He says, without turning around. Next, he starts fixing the holes in his system they used to get in.

“You don’t want to do that.” Coulson says, he pays it no mind focusing on the task at hand. _Tone: Warning._ It’s good to have Jarvis up and running again. “SHIELD is necessary.”

“Well, you should have thought of that before revealing your super-secret organization to a civilian without as much as an NDA.” Tony shrugs. “Not to mention then threatening said civilian in his own home, which you broke into.”

 _Sir, he has drawn a weapon_. Jarvis informs him, typing the words out so Coulson won’t be aware. Now, that just won’t do.

“J, I’m gonna need you to take out the trash.” He says, and pulls up the security footage of Coulson pointing a gun at him, and threatening to tase him. There’s a sizzling sound and a thump as Coulson and his goon squad all fall to the floor.

“Taken care of Sir, how would you like me to proceed.” Jarvis asks, _Tone: Proud_. “Should I call the police?”

“Yeah, call the cops.” Tony says, hopping up to divest Coulson and his goons of their weapons. “We’re gonna have to call the lawyers, and the media as well. I don’t want any of this disappearing. If I get harmed in anyway by SHIELD during this investigation, you go straight to the press, I trust you to decide what should and shouldn’t be leaked.”

“Of course, Sir, perhaps we should contact the FBI.” Jarvis replies. He isn’t wrong, this is probably gonna be a little big for Malibu PD to handle.

“Yep, get right on that J.” He settles back into his seat and starts tracing the hack back to their servers. “Help me comb through this while you’re at it. I wanna know what they’re up to. Compile records of individual crimes while you’re at it.”

“Of course, ETA for the police is 17 minutes, FBI should be closer to an hour.” Jarvis explains. “I have contacted multiple local and international media sources with basic information about the situation, and promised future updates as they occur.”

“You’re the best J.” Tony says, and then opens up a file titled only as Subject 17. A quick skim of the article reveals it’s about a girl, 14 years old, with the ability to turn invisible. If he didn’t know any better, he would say it was fake, but according to this file the girl is locked in a warehouse downtown. There’s no indication in the file she ever committed a crime.

“Sir, I have another file similar to the one you’re reading.” Jarvis informs him, and the file pops up alongside his. This one details the life of a man once found guilty of vandalism, with some form of telekinetic ability. Shield had killed him when he resisted arrest, and studied his body trying to figure out how he worked.

“Prioritize these files J, I’m gonna look at what Fury left for me, but you keep digging.” 

“Sir, can I just say you’re being incredibly responsible about this.” Jarvis says, and Tony smiles softy.

“Don’t think I can’t tell when you’re mocking me Jarvis, I literally made your voice. Don’t make me donate you to a community college.” He threatens, they both know he doesn’t mean it.

There’s a bunch of useless junk in the box Fury left him, and he’s beginning to think his time would be better spent digging through SHIELD’s files when he finds the old tape.

“We got anything I can play this on?” Tony wonders aloud. If this is a dead end he’s just gonna have to focus on taking SHIELD down, making the world a better place before he goes.

“In the basement sir, the old theatre room.” Jarvis informs him, and Tony heads downstairs to watch an old film. In it his dad is just as dismissive and uncaring as he remembers, and he’s ready to give up when he notices the pattern in front of Howard.

“Jarvis, I found something. Grab the layout here, and remove all the bullshit, I just need the shape.” Jarvis does as asked, and leaves a molecule floating in the air.

“Well shit, looks like dad’s good for something after all.” Tony remarks, he’s gonna live.

“Indeed Sir, I have found something as well. It seems as if SHIELD has a bit of an infestation.” Jarvis seems to be trying to put this delicately. “There’s an entire second system in their computers, I can’t find a name associated with it, just this symbol.” An octopus appears on the screen in front of Tony.

“Hydra.” Tony whispers. “Shit, you keep working see if you can separate the two, I need to go into hardware mode, see if I can fix this.

“Of course, but Sir.” The doorbell rings. “Malibu PD is here. FBI is still 30 minutes out, and Nick Fury has been made aware of the situation.”

“You know what to do, knockout protocol for any SHIELD agents on the premises.” Tony says, running to get the door.

“Hello Mr. Stark.” There’s two officers at his door, the one in front looks like a no-nonsense woman. Clearly a professional, her partner on the other hand is practically bouncing.

“Hi, as I’m sure Jarvis mentioned in the arrest report, we have had some unwanted visitors.” He opens the door gesturing for them to come inside. “I managed to get my security systems back online and they have been incapacitated, but I want to make sure that this doesn’t get swept under the rug.”

“Of course, Mr. Stark. Malibu PD takes breaking and entering very seriously.” The serious one promises, officer Carson if her name tag is to be believed. Officer Monroe nods along with her partner.

“Well, I do need to inform you that this is a bit more than a breaking and entering case.” He admits, and Monroe looks like he just told her she won the lottery. “These guys are part of a supposedly government run organization called SHIELD, and when I traced their hacks on my servers I found indications of Hyrda having infiltrated the organization. The whole thing is incredibly shady.”

“Wow.” Monroe whispers, Tony can’t help but think of her as an over excitable kid.

“This one,” Tony continues, gesturing to Coulson and speaking directly to Officer Carson. “Threatened to tase me if I attempted to leave my house, which, with my heart condition could very well kill me. They also have someone under cover at my company, going by the name of Natalie Rushman, she’s actually a KGB operative by the name of Natalia Romanova, so we’ve got a decent dose of corporate espionage as well.”

“Well Mr. Stark, we’ll do everything in our power to ensure justice is served.” Officer Carson promises, unable to keep the look of wide-eyed shock off her face. Tony can’t exactly blame her for it. Her partner’s mouth is open, and she’s gaping like a fish so Carson is doing alright in his book.

“It will be.” Tony says, waving off her concerns. The government may try to hide this, but he has Jarvis and neither of them are going to let this disappear, even if they have to share the story with every news outlet on the planet. “I have called the FBI as well they should be here in about half an hour.”

“Probably for the best.” Carson says, although she still looks put out about it.

“Great, you don’t mind explaining the whole,” Tony waves at the room in general. “Thing to them right? I’m currently dying of heavy metal poisoning, and I just figured out how to not do that, so I’m needed in my lab.” Both officers are staring at him in wide eyed horror.

“Yeah, of course Mr. Stark, you go take care of that. I’ll explain everything to the Feds, and I’ll come to you to take your statement.” Officer Carson offers. Tony claps his hands together.

“Great, Jarvis has access to everything, say Hi J.” Tony waves towards the screen by the door.

“Hello Officer Carson, Hello Officer Monroe.” Jarvis greets, and Tony heads for the lab.

“He can get you whatever footage or information you need, just ask.” He shoots them a thumbs up as he pushes the door open and disappears back to his lab.

“I am of course happy to help.” He can hear Jarvis say as he heads downstairs.


	2. Under Arrest

Officer Kaila Carson graduated from the police academy in Los Vegas Nevada at the age of 20, and moved to Malibu when she was 24, she’s 27 now and if you asked her, she’d probably tell you she’s seen it all. This certainly isn’t her fist time arriving on a scene to find the assailants unconscious. It’s also not the first time the person reporting the crime was famous, in fact she’s arrested Tony Stark before for a drunken assault. Although the guy he attacked ended up being the one arrested considering he’d put drugs in a woman’s drink.

Long Story short Officer Kaila Carson has seen some shit. However, this is all new territory. Never before has she been the arresting officer on a case involving shady Nazi government agencies, who assault dying celebrities.

“Just when you think you’ve seen everything.” She mumbles, shaking her head as she goes to cuff the passed-out criminals. Marie Monroe is greener than grass, fresh out of the academy at 24.

“Gosh tell me about it.” Monroe says, looking around the room. “This whole thing is crazy.”

“Yep, I need you to call the station let them know we have a Natalie Rushman to arrest at Stark Industries.” She says, “I’ll help the paramedics take these three away.”

“Then what?” Monroe asks, and Kaila is so tired already.

“Just, do your job.” Kaila heads out to fetch the paramedics. The main issue with assailants that have been knocked out, they have to go to the hospital, makes the whole thing so much more complicated.

“All clear?” Johnson asks, and she nods. At least someone on site knows hot to do their jobs. Johnson, and his crew bring in stretchers.

“Kaila, thanks for calling that in.” She grabs the greenie’s attention. “I’m gonna need you to accompany out guests to the hospital, please make sure they are handcuffed at all times, and have no access to weapons of any sort.” Marie bounces excitedly.

“On it, boss.” She salutes, and it takes everything Kaila has not to facepalm. “You can count on me. What are you going to be doing?”

“Dealing with the feds.” She groans, and Marie looks absolutely awestruck at the thought. “Trust me, it’s not going to be fun. Make sure to keep the station updated, and set up a watch on these criminals, based on the information from Mr. Stark they’re likely to try and escape custody.”

“I can’t believe we met Tony Stark.” Marie bounces excitedly. “I won’t let you down, I promise.” She goes off to oversee the paramedics, and Kaila turns back to the computer.

“Jarvis sir, what can you tell me about what occurred today?” She asks.

“Well Officer Carson I have time stamped footage of the entire incident from the break in to the threat to your arrival, I can of course send that to the station at your email. We will be keeping a copy on our servers for safe keeping however.”

“That’s perfectly understandable.” She accepts. “Can you show me what exactly happened, today and we can work back from there.” She pulls out her notepad and begins taking notes.

The first clip he shows her is of Nicholas J Fury, Natasha Romanova, and Philip Coulson breaking into Tony’s home, and hacking into his systems. He quickly provides a file on each of them, and follows it with a clip of Philip Coulson threatening to tase Tony if he were to attempt to leave his own house.

“You would think that a super-secret organization would do more work to not be caught breaking laws on camera.” She remarks, after witnessing a multitude if infractions committed within a single day. 

“I think they were relying on the fact that they didn’t expect Tony to do anything about it.” Jarvis explains, and that’s really the only thing that makes sense.

“Big mistake, got anything else?” She asks, and he certainly does, starting with footage of Natasha Romanov plunging a syringe into Tony’s neck without his consent, and following it up with evidence of her falsifying records to get a job at Stark Industries, and her multiple attempts to hack their servers.

“Officer Carson,” Jarvis interrupts her video. “The FBI have arrived.” Just great.

“Thank you, Jarvis, if there’s anything else you think I should see you can make a queue.” She says, heading for the door. The doorbell rings as she walks.

“Of course, Officer Carson.” He says, and a queue appears on the side of the screen filling with various files. 

“Thank you.” She says, as she opens the door. There’s no reason not to be polite to computers, and this way if they do end up taking over the world they won’t have any reason to dislike her.

On the front door are two agents, dressed in suits and holding up their credentials. She reads their names, and glances at the pictures, the blonde man looks a bit older than the photo, whereas the brunette woman could have been photographed today.

“Hello, Agents Barton and Hill, come on in.” She gestures for them to come in.

“We’re looking for Tony Stark.” Agent Barton says, as they scan the room. She shuts the door behind them. The moment they both look at her a screen flashes the word imposters behind them followed by their SHIELD files.

“I’m afraid Mr. Stark is busy right now; he had a pressing health issue to take care of after the attack. I’m sure you understand.” She explains, mind running a mile a minute as she searches for a way out of this situation. It’s two on one and something tells her she wouldn’t beat them in a fight if it came to it.

 _Would you like me to neutralize the threat?_ Pops up on the screen behind them. Barton turns to look around, and the screen goes black.

“We just have a few questions for Mr. Stark.” Shield Agent Maria Hill explains. “It should only take a minute.” Kaila doesn’t trust them for an instant.

“Of course, and if you would like Jarvis and I would be happy to answer some of them for you.” She says slowly, taking in the situation. “Well, we would be if you were actually FBI, seeing as you are not, you’re under arrest for impersonating a federal agent, you have the right to remain-“ She rattles off, and abruptly finds herself on the business end of two guns.

“We just want to recover our people, and put this whole business behind up.” Agent Hill explains, and Kaila mentally adds resisting arrest and threatening a police officer to their crimes. “We aren’t the bad guys here.”

“Yes.” She says, looking at the screen Jarvis had used. “You kind of are.” There’s a cackle, and both of them drop like a sack of potatoes.

“Are you alright Officer Carson?” Jarvis asks, and she is, quite alright. She’s pissed now though.

“Of course,” She kicks their guns away and handcuffs them. “Please send the footage of that altercation to my email as well.” She radio’s in for backup and another ambulance, briefly explaining the situation to her chief.

“I apologize for the mistake, I hadn’t realized they’d intercepted my call until they arrived.” Jarvis explains. “The real FBI are in fact on their way, and should be arriving within the next five minutes. While you wait, I have compiled a list of crimes committed against both Mr. Stark and others by all agents present, and am working on similar lists for any others employed by the agency.”

“How many people work for them?” She asks.

“Currently unknown, I have found a facility downtown where they are holding individuals with powers, and would like to let you know before I contact the station about human trafficking.” Jarvis says, and she starts flipping through the files he’s provided.

“Downtown?” She asks, how many times has she passed it on patrol. How long have they been there?

“In Malibu’s warehouse district, yes.” Jarvis explains. “It is currently holding 14 enhanced individuals, only one of whom has committed a crime to SHIELD’s knowledge.”

“What was the crime?” She asks, wondering if it might justify at least that individual’s imprisonment.

“Ms. Velez was convicted of prostitution.” Is the reply she gets. No good reason for her imprisonment in a secret government facility then. Just gross abuse of human rights. Wonderful. “I am trying to separate which members of SHIELD are active members of Hydra and which are unaware of it’s presence in the organization, but it is difficult as Hydra has been part of SHIELD since shortly after world war 2, and their goals seem to have aligned throughout the organizations history.”

“Well, that’s terribly concerning.” She says, “We’ll have to set up a sting with the FBI to arrest them all, sheesh. I will personally testify in court if they try to make this whole thing disappear Jarvis, I’m not going to let them.”

“Neither are we.” Jarvis says, with the kind of certainty and conviction you usually only hear in church. It’s good to know she isn’t alone in wanting to tear this organization down. “Mr. Stark’s lawyers are already working on the case. He’s asked them to look into the cases of each of shield’s imprisoned citizens as well.”

“Well, I appreciate him doing that.” The doorbell rings, Fed’s, the real FBI this time. Everything after that is a whirlwind of conversation about the crimes committed, and how the government wants to play this.

Truthfully, they don’t want to admit to allowing such a corrupt organization to exist in the first place, but with the media already on the case they have to. Nazi’s invading American agencies, a secret organization holding enhanced humans against their will, it’s enough to put conspiracy theorists to shame.

In the end there’s only one way the government can play it and come out on top. 

_The President Stamps out Corruption_

Headlines proclaim the good efforts of the FBI, and Malibu PD in working to swiftly take down such a corrupt organization.

In the end, all they had to do was make sure they were seen arresting the bad guys, rather than trying to set them free.


	3. Friendships

There’s another world, another universe, where things went down very differently. In that world Tony didn’t kick up a fuss about SHIELD. In that world Hydra remained undetected inside of SHIELD for years. On that version of earth, things are a mess.

This isn’t that world though. This world, Hydra was exposed long before Project Insight was ever a thought. In this world, all it took to take down Shieldra was a team of dedicated lawyers and they eyes of the public.

“Mr. Stark, how did you meet Mr. Coulson?” The lawyer asks, and Tony’s been part of more than one cross examination’s in his time.

“He showed up after I returned from Afghanistan and tried to convince me to lie about what happened.” Tony says. “Helped out a bit when Stane went all supervillain on us, but overall was just kinda around.”

Each of their lawyers tries it, asking why he didn’t report them then. Why he did report them now? Truthfully, it’s hard to argue their innocence, so they look to slander his name instead.

“Look I had a hunk of palladium in my chest pumping me full of heavy metal poisoning so bad I could barely think enough to save my own life.” Tony explains, it was going to come out eventually anyways.

Officer Carson takes the stand, talks about the crimes she saw them commit.

Natasha takes a plea deal, takes the stand spilling dirt on the whole organization in exchange for a lighter sentence. She tells them everything she knows, and with her information and what Jarvis uncovered a series of raids occur around the world on Hydra and SHIELD facilities alike.

At the end of the day very few of SHIELD’s employee’s make it out of the court room without having to serve jailtime. 

Headlines are published about the fall of a giant, about Tony and about Hydra’s crimes. The Winter Soldier, is found and revealed to be none other than James Buchannan Barnes, POW.

Tony watches a video of his parents being killed, found on Shieldra’s servers. It breaks his hear to watch his mom plead for his life, and in that moment Tony hate’s the Winter Soldier.

Tony watches as the man is found innocent of killing Howard and Maria Stark. Found innocent of all of his crimes.

Tony watches as Nathaniel Malik is found guilty of ordering the hit on the Stark’s. He’s found guilty of a lot of things, and sentenced to life in prison. Tony can’t help but think it’s exactly what he deserves. 

“No comment.” He tells the press, for what seems like the thousandth time. Everything is happening so quickly.

After a day in court Pepper and Rhodey corner him in the elevator, he can’t say he wasn’t expecting it.

“Why didn’t you tell us?” Pepper asks, and she’s got that crease between her brows. She’s angry, he can understand that, they’re both probably angry. “You were dying! Why didn’t you tell us?”

“There was nothing you could have done.” It’s the simple truth. She rolls her eyes at that, exasperated, and something inside him rears up defensively. “And, I tried to tell you.”

“No, you didn’t.” Pepper says, looking hurt.

“Yes, I did. When I brought the strawberries, I was trying to explain, but you wouldn’t listen. I just needed 30 seconds.” He blows out a breath, lets it go. “Sorry, about the strawberries by the way, Did you guys know heavy metal poisoning can effect your memory?” He looks between them, Rhodey shakes his head.

“No, I didn’t.” She admits, and then shakes her head as if to clear it. “Tony.” Her tone is both sadness, and reprimand rolled into one, and there’s a fondness there.

“Pepper.” He mimics her tone, watches as she flinches slightly from the sound of it. Rhodey steps forward, grabbing his attention before he can try and understand her reaction.

“You could have told me Tony.” Rhodey says, and he seems completely sincere. “You were dying, you didn’t have to do it alone.” It’s a sweet idea, really.

“We all die alone Rhodeybear.” Tony shrugs the whole thing off. “What does it matter now? I’m fine.” There’s that pinched look of frustration on both of their faces, the look that means he’s missed the point somewhere. Tony suddenly realizes that the elevator hasn’t been moving.

This is an intervention.

“Tony,” Rhodey sighs, rubbing at the bridge of his nose. “You were hurting, right?” Tony’s about to protest, it hadn’t been that painful. “You were dying.” Rhodey plows on. “And, instead of turning to us, or anyone, you intentionally pushed us away.” Pepper nods along with him.

“You should have come to us Tony, we would have been there for you.” She says. He can’t help it, the math doesn’t add up.

“But, you weren’t there.” He protests, pointing at both of them. “I mean I was waving about a dozen red flags as far as social cues go according to Jarvis and you both weren’t there. You were busy running the company.” He points to Pepper. “And you were busy with your career.” Rhodey.

“Tony.” Rhodey says in his sad voice, and Tony shakes his head.

“No, don’t use that voice I’m right.” He says. “Jarvis repeatedly told me that my behavior made it obvious I was dying. I mean pushing people away, that’s what people do when they’re dying. What’d you call it J?” He glances up.

“A warning sign.” Jarvis supplies, and Tony snaps his fingers gesturing towards the roof. He’s not upset per se, but these are just facts.

“That, and it wasn’t hard.” He says.

“Tony.” Pepper says, and he’s never understood how she puts so much emotion in a single world.

“What? I’m not dying anymore anyways so it doesn’t matter now.” It’s not that complicated, if they were that easy to push away then why would pushing them away not be the correct solution. It got Rhodey to take the suit, it got Pepper to take the company. Results wise it worked.

“You’re an idiot.” Pepper announces, and he’s about to argue the merits of his intelligence when she’s suddenly engulfing him in a hug. Rhodey isn’t far behind.

Tony blinks in confusion, trying to figure out what led them to having a group hug in the elevator.

“Rhodey?” He asks, because Rhodey is still the best at explaining these things to him.

“Just take the affection buddy.” They both squeeze him. “Just accept it.”

Tony can do that, even if he doesn’t understand why.

... ... ...

“Tony, we need to talk.” Pepper says, and Tony read somewhere once that that’s code for we’re breaking up.

“Sure, what’s up?” He asks, pulling his blank expression firmly into place as he looks at the spot right between her eyes.

“This,” She gestures between them. “Isn’t working.” She’s near tears, and Tony doesn’t understand.

“I know.” He says anyways. He loves her, and he doesn’t want to make this hard.

“I love you Tony, but this, us, it just doesn’t work.” She explains, and even with that he can’t quite figure out what she means.

“So, you’re breaking up with me?” He asks, just for the clarification.

“Yeah Tony, I’m breaking up with you.” She says, and there’s a sadness there. “We haven’t been good for each other.”

“We can still be friends though, right?” He asks. Truthfully, he doesn’t mind breaking up with her, in spite of himself dating Pepper has always felt more like losing something than gaining it.

“Of course, Tony.” She promises, and it’s a promise he can’t really expect her to keep. He’s never had a friendship with any of his ex’s before, but then again, he’s never had an ex like Pepper before.

“I love you.” He says, after the door shuts behind her.

His calendar updates to include dinner once a week with Pepper, and he can’t help but find it odd that when they were dating, they didn’t have a dedicated date night, but now that they’re friends, they do.

Hopefully it’s just like old times, he’s missed her.

… … …

“Today is the final day in the series of court cases none as the Shieldra take down.” The announcer says, and Tony glances at the TV. They’ve moved past the cases he had direct involvement with at this point, and are instead focusing on Shieldra’s multitude of other crimes.

“However, for some the legal battle is just beginning as people are beginning to question what rights do enhanced individuals have? What rights should they have?” She stands in front of the court house, a blue man walking up the steps behind her.

“Mute.” Tony orders, and the screen falls silent. “J, how are the enhanced initiatives doing?” He asks.

“Your lawyers are making quick work of the court systems, and soon should hit the supreme court, as we are trying to get Enhanced individuals listed on anti-discrimination laws.” Jarvis explains. “It’s looking likely, with SHIELD’s atrocities playing a big role in supporting them.”

“Wish it didn’t take a tragedy.” Tony remarks, the world was changing since the discovery of Shieldra, enhanced people coming out of the woodwork nationwide.

In fact, recent reports had revealed a Charles Xavier who ran a school for enhanced children who’d been kicked out of their homes. It seemed almost every member of the enhanced community had a backstory full of fear.

There were still fanatics, a man by the name of Erik came to mind, but overall enhanced people just seemed like people. Some good, some bad, but all of them people. People who had been facing discrimination and unlawful arrest’s for years.

Honestly, he doesn’t think he could stop the world from changing even if he wanted to. At this point enhanced rights were the hot issue for every political candidate. The most Tony could do was provide his lawyers, and campaign for enhanced issues.

Other than that, he was just along for the ride. He works hard to make Stark Industries the number one employer of enhanced people over night.

_Breaking News_

“Sir, you may want to pay attention to this.” Jarvis interrupts his thoughts, turning the volume back on for the TV.

 _“This just in, a SHIELD mission that had been off radar since the court cases began has just gotten back in touch.”_ The two casters at the desk look shocked themselves, as they read off the teleprompter. _“It seems that the mission had agents searching glaciers based on Howard Stark’s work looking for Captain America, Steve Rogers, and they found him.”_

“They have to mean his body, right?” Tony asks, mostly to himself.

_“That’s right Captain America has been found alive, speculation is that the cold temperatures, and the serum used to give him powers has resulted in him surviving in a frozen state for all these years.” The other anchor explains._

“Huh, seems like the old man was right after all.” Tony admits, and for a moment he considers reaching out. “He’ll make a great poster boy for the enhanced.” He decides, and in that moment, Tony Stark washes his hands of Steve Rogers. Howard Stark’s golden boy is not, and never will be his problem.


	4. Thor

“Rhodey! How dare you!” Tony teases, pushing his friend out of the way. “You’re gonna make Dum-E think there’s a F-I-R-E.” The bot whirs excitedly and rolls over to the fire extinguisher.

“Did you seriously forget that he can spell?” Rhodey teases, and Tony laughs. He’s missed this, lab time with his favorite lab partner.

“No, I’d never.” He insists, and then he’s doused with fire retardant by a delighted Dum-E.

“Oh my god!” Rhodey bends in half cracking up, and Tony waves his arms around in frustration launching white foam around the room.

“Rhodey was the one with the fire hazard!” He glares at the bot, who beeps loudly and then douses a laughing Rhodey with fire retardant. “Who’s laughing now asshole?” Tony giggles.

“Still,” Rhodey gasps out between laughs, “me.” Tony hasn’t felt this happy in a long time, probably since he took over Stark Industries. It takes them a few minutes of rolling around in foam to stop laughing, all while Dum-E beeps proudly to himself.

“Oh my god, I needed that.” Tony wipes the tears from his eyes smearing his cheeks with foam.

“Yeah, we need to talk.” Rhodey sobers quickly, and Tony freezes.

“You breaking up with me platypus?” He asks, and he can’t help the fact that he’s nervous even as he tries to make it a joke. Rhodey just rolls his eyes.

“No, I’m doing something I should have done a while ago,” Rhodey explains, and Tony is squirming and holding back from telling Rhodey to spit it out. “I’m apologizing.”

“What?” Tony hadn’t been expecting that.

“I’m sorry, for your birthday.” He looks so forlorn, and Tony doesn’t understand Rhodey did exactly what he was supposed to that day.

“Why? You did exactly what I wanted you to.” He admits, and Rhodey’s face get’s that pinched look. _Expression: Frustrated,_ Jarvis supplies helpfully.

“That’s not the point Tony, I shouldn’t have attacked you, I shouldn’t have taken your property regardless of you provoking me.” He says, and Tony doesn’t think that’s fair. Tony wanted him to take it.

“Then how would I have gotten you the suit?” He asks, and Rhodey smiles at him.

“Well, you could have given it to me as a gift.” _Tone: fond_. It’s a strange idea, without explaining that he was dying it would have been difficult.

“I hadn’t thought of that.” He admits, and Rhodey laughs shaking his head.

“Yeah, for a genius you’re a bit of an idiot.” Rhodey teases, and Tony pouts at him.

“I thought this was an apology and here you are insulting me.” Tony pouts, and Rhodey drags him closer, just to dump a bunch of foam onto his hair. “How dare!” Tony shouts, and then they’re grappling in the foam and shoving it down each other’s shirts.

“No,” Rhodey huffs out, “But in all seriousness, I am sorry. I can give it back if you want.” Tony raises an eyebrow at that.

“You think the air force would let you?” He asks, and Rhodey shrugs as if to say so what. “No, you keep it, it’ll keep you safe.” Rhodey opens his mouth to speak and his phone rings.

“I gotta take this.” He pulls a Hammer Phone out of his pocket and answers it, every inch serious soldier even as he’s covered in white foam. “Hello, Lieutenant Colonel James Rhodes Speaking.”

“Is that? J are you seeing this?” He asks gesturing to the phone in outrage.

“Yes, General MacNamara, I’m with Tony Stark right now.” Rhodey reports, and Tony perks up. Alert and ready for anything.

“What’s going on?” He asks, and Rhodey holds a finger up to his lips in a shushing motion.

“Of course, Sir.” He puts his phone on speaker. “You’re on speaker.”

“Thank you, Rhodes, hello Mr. Stark.” He greets, “I’m afraid this isn’t a social call boys, we’ve got an alien robot looking thing,” The general sighs in frustration, and boy can Tony relate to that. “touching down in new Mexico, it’s headed for a small town. Reports show that a man in a cape, and some Viking cosplayers,” There’s a clear question in the generals voice. “Are attempting to fight it off, we would really appreciate Ironman’s help in handling this matter.”

“Of course, we’ll be there in 15 minutes.” Tony says, and the suit appears to wrap around him foam and all. That’s going to be a bitch to clean later.

“Thank you General.” Rhodey says respectfully, and then he’s jumping into War Machine as Tony takes off. “Race you to New Mexico.”

“As if you could win.” Tony scoffs. “Jarvis analyze wind currents.” Rhodey’s laughter sounds in his ears, and they both blast off for New Mexico.

“You forget, I’m a trained pilot.” Rhodey says, slipping into a stream of air and blowing past Tony.

“Oh, it’s on!” Tony crows, putting on speed. They end up arriving in New Mexico within a millisecond of each other. Rhodey just barely beating him. They both stop dead when the giant mecha comes into view.

“Someone’s a fan of pacific rim.” Tony remarks, “Jarvis scans please.” They watch as a man in a red cape hurls himself at the giant thing, dodging lasers. “What do you think it is?”

“No life signs, or indications of technology my system can recognize.” Jarvis explains, and Tony shrugs, shooting a quick repulsor blast at the thing causing it to stagger back a step.

“So, what it’s magic?” Rhodey asks, _tone: sarcastic_.

“I do not have enough data to determine.” Jarvis says, and both Tony and Rhodey groan, blasting the thing together to get its attention.

“I’m going in.” Tony puts on speed, blasting the thing once in the chest, and then on the side of the head as he flies past. It raises an arm up to bat at him lazily, and then keeps walking towards the town behind them.

“Well, shit. We’re gonna need to outsmart this thing, I don’t think brute strength will do it.” Rhodey says, as if to prove his point the three Vikings below hurl themselves at the thing only to be batted away like flies leaving each of them in a crater in the sand. “I’ll slow it down, you go ask the solve it squad down there what they know.”

“On it!” Tony gives him a salute and then flies down to where the hairy one is left in a crater. “Any clue what that thing is?” He asks, earning a look Jarvis identifies as disdain.

“Stay back Midgardian,” What? “This isn’t for you to handle.” He say, _tone: haughty._ He didn’t need Jarvis’ help to figure that one out. Of course, then the idiot jumps back up and launches himself at the robot, only to be smacked away again.

“Let’s try this again.” He flies over to the woman hoping she’ll be more reasonable. “What is this thing?”

“This is The Destroyer, it isn’t for you to handle this is an issue for Asgard’s crown prince.” She says, gesturing towards the man in the cape.

“Yeah sorry, the town full of people says otherwise.” Tony remarks, and rolls his eyes. “I got a name Rhodey, but these people aren’t gonna be much help.”

“Loki!” Caped idiot shouts, climbing out of the car the thing left him in. The thing turns towards him, and Tony drops into a dive, ready to pull him out of the way.

“Jesus Christ.” The thing’s head seems to be charging up, and Tony puts some extra speed behind him.

“Loki I’ve come to bargain.” Thor shouts, and Tony snatched him out of the way, dropping the idiot at Rhodey’s feet.

“Figure out who that is and feed the info to me.” Tony orders, and speeds back over to the automan.

“Hey Loki! That’s your name?” He asks, pulling to a stop in front of the Destroyer. “You want to explain what’s happening here.” The thing stops, turning to look at him.

“It appears the crown prince here, Thor, was banished to our planet as a punishment for recklessly killing some people on another planet.” Rhodey says, in a tone that displays his displeasure. The thing reaches out to hit him, and Tony dodges.

“Wow. The gall.” Tony remarks, and the thing stops, staring at him.

“What?” A voice cuts in, and suddenly there’s a horned figure on its shoulder. Tony opens up his faceplate, shifting until they’re at eye level.

“You really had the gall to send someone to our planet as a punishment with no diplomatic relations, and then you sent a giant robot near one of our cities to what? Kill him?” Tony asks, glaring the man down.

“Sending him here was Odin’s idea.” The being says with a shrug. Tony glares at him.

“I don’t care whose idea it was, it wasn’t appropriate, and you and this Odin will be explaining it to the United States government, this could be seen as an act of war.” Tony says, and Rhodey nods behind him. Loki laughs.

“You would not stand a chance in a war with us.” Loki remarks. Tony elects to ignore him in favor for the blonde.

“How dare you mortal!” Thor shouts, storming over to him. “Who are you to question the action’s of Asgard’s king!” The caped crusader throws a hand out, and nothing happens.

“Who are you to invade our planet, and wreak havoc?” Tony asks in response. “What kind of irresponsible bullshit is that.” The Viking squad falls into step behind Thor.

“Watch how you speak mortal.” The woman says, and Tony rolls her eyes, opens his mouth to protest.

“You all will report to our government for your crimes.” Rhodey says, and everyone looks at him as if he’s the alien.

“I am prince of Asgard, and my brother is acting reagent. We cannot be tried on your planet.” Thor remarks, and Rhodey just shrugs.

“Then you shouldn’t have committed crimes on our planet.” He says, “You are under arrest, if you wish to have good diplomatic relations with us in the future you will come with me.” Thor looks as if he would protest, when a van pulls up, and a woman Tony swears he could recognize spills out.

“Thor!” She shouts running over to him and checking him for injuries. “I’m so glad you’re okay.”

“Yes, these men are attempting to detain me.” He laughs, as if the idea is ludicrous. She looks at them then at Thor.

“If you are going to be here you need to respect our laws, you should go with them.” She says, and Thor looks absolutely betrayed. Tony nearly laughs, and then he recognizes her.

“Foster!” He points at her, and she jumps slightly. “Dr. Jane Foster, right?” He lands next to her, bouncing excitedly. An air force jet touches down nearby.

“That would be me.” She says, there’s a wary look on her face.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, your work on the Einstein Rosen Bridge is fascinating.” Tony says, stepping out of the suit to speak with her. “Your work is revolutionary.”

“Thank you?” She asks, and Tony watches as Thor accepts his arrest. He tunes them out as Thor starts arguing with Loki about accepting his own arrest.

“Of course, now you really should be better funded.” Tony remarks, and she nods. “Would you accept a grant?” He looks over to see a hammer sitting on the ground, and lifts it easily.

“A grant?” She asks, blinking rapidly.

“Yup. Yo, Thor, this yours?” He holds it out to the god, who’s staring at him in shock. He nods, and reaches out to take the hammer.

“You are worthy.” He says, bowing his head slightly. Tony shrugs, and then Thor stares down at his own hands. “I am worthy? Brother I am worthy again!”

“Wait, you were talking about a grant!” A brunette says, and Tony leaves the Vikings for Rhodey.

“Who are you?” He blinks, and the girl shifts her notebooks to one arm and holds out a hand.

“Darcy Lewis, you want to give us money.” It doesn’t really seem like a question.

“I want to fund Jane’s research into space travel.” He gestures to the Vikings. “Clearly we’re a little behind the curve.” Jane nods rapidly.

“Well, if you’re sure.” Jane says, and Darcy steps on her foot.

“Yes, we’ll take your money.” Darcy says, glaring at Jane when she opens her mouth again. Tony just smiles, and has Jarvis start drawing up the papers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The reason that Thor is worthy again is because he accepts the consequences from Rhodey (At Jane's recommendation) and this Tony is worthy due to him not working with shady organizations and working hard to do good and have a positive impact.


End file.
